what im expecting january 12th
january 12th is the first round of names drawn for my magnet school i want to get into to.
when my name gets drawn i know ill cry, because ill be so happy that finally it is all working out and that i can really achieve a greater perhaps.
if not then i dont know. i couldnt deal with it. all of these dreams ive built up to wanting to go. all these high hopes.
i know, im not supposed to have such high hopes for something that big because if not then ill be so disappointed. but this is the only option.
the only ride for sure out of this town.
i want to leave, even though im so young, because i was never meant to stay. this isnt my home. i dont belong here. i belong at that school. not to sound to churchy, but i know with the power and support of Christ, He will make note of me being able to help me onto the right path.
the path of cultures.
i love world studies. learning about different places. its amazing to realize how many places you can go.
im planning with this school, and a ton of homework and hard work i can achieve all of my goals, even if im not sure where i need to be yet.
i love finding these kids that ill be going to school with next year and connecting mentally with them. i know that this is where i need to be for right now.
this is where i will see more. experience more. thats what i need. im the young, oblivious 8th grade girl right now that hasn’t had her first kiss.
i want to go so that i can develop into a better person. you are as only as great as the people you surround yourself with. i will be put to surround myself with smart kids and hopefully more mature kids.
that half the problem in my grade right now.
im so much older than everyone mentally its harder for me to dumb down so i always kinda sound like, for lack of a better word, bitch.
i need to be with kids that are on the same mental level as me. and with people ahead.
its not like my local highschool doesnt have wonderful kids its just that 85% that go to college will go to UT, some form of UT. i on the other hand, want to adventure out. i want to go to a college with people i dont know.
i want to go to a highschool with people ive yet to meet.
im in love with the idea of leaving everyone behind because thats what ive always wanted to do. i love the idea of walking inmy first day not knowing anyone and soon becoming someone. not having any past friendships. meeting people for the first time and connecting. i want these people to see a side of me i cant show my friends here.
they wouldnt understand here.
i use this idea of this new school as a total excuse to escape the present time. but its the idea of it all i love so much. i love it so much i dream about it when im asleep. i sit and class and picture the first day of freshmen year.
highschool is where you create yourself. and i want to create myself at that school.